From Sisyphus to Metis: The Transformative Power of Literary Metissage

This thesis is a heart centered literary métissage. The name literary métissage takes the word Métis and reclaims it from its pejorative use, meaning half-breed, and refers back instead to the Greek goddess Métis, who was a shapeshifter and the first wife of Zeus. The word also refers back to mixticius, the Latin for the weaving of cloth from different fibres. Literary métissage is a braiding together of pieces of writing, usually by different authors, to allow the braiding or weaving of the works together to reveal something new, beyond what each piece says on its own.

This thesis is a collection of stories have been told again and again over the course of many years. In this process of retelling, the stories themselves became reified. To bring them back to life, they had to be approached from new angles with new ways of writing. It was also necessary for a critical consciousness to be brought to this inquiry. Throughout this time, the thesis process was monitored by the use of a researcher's notebook where reflections on the journey and connections between the process of writing and day-to-day life were recorded. It is on this third path of inquiry where the process of transformation began. Through the process of exploring literary métissage, which was a weaving back and forth between memory and a new subjective experience of memory (along with reflection on both of these), a flexible view of self began to evolve. My concept of identity shifted from a single, fixed thing to a multiple, open one. Schwandt (2007) describes the postmodern view of self as "always fragmented, never integrated, never fixed, always becoming" (p. 144). This shift in identity was born out of the gifts of métissage: the blending of literary genres and the flexibility of thinking that comes out of leaving a dualistic perspective. This concept of self made it possible to approach the past in a way that allowed things to be seen that once were invisible.

Several types of writing were employed to research the memories: poetry, narrative, personal journals, letters, and a researcher's notebook. This mixture of genres proved to be very important to the life of the work and led to discoveries that may not have otherwise been made. Literary métissage embraces a blurring of literary genres. In this work the poems are narratives and the narratives have many poetic qualities. Each genre was used as a tool to help uncover the truths which were being sought.

This literary métissage is a form of creative memoir that is followed by an exegesis. The exegesis provides an interpretation of the work, grounding it in theory and exploring critical issues related to this kind of writing in education. In the exegesis the literature of life writing is connected to the literature of literary métissage and the attendant issues of identity, memory, and transformation.

The transformation which came out of my work was initiated by prayer and reflection on writing and memories. Another important catalyst in this process was the connection with other life writers. The perspectives on self of other life writers and the gifts of wisdom which they have brought back from inner journeys have been a guide for my work. I have often felt like Bilbo Baggins, the unlikely hero of The Hobbit, setting off for an adventure somewhat unwittingly. The life writers have been like Gandalf to me, showing up when I was in dire need, and getting me to the next place in my journey. I cannot imagine how I would have managed without them. I am grateful to every writer who has openly shared the experience of life writing. As I wrote my own life and read theirs, the experience became a generous communion.

It has been my hope that if compassion comes to my father and to myself through this writing, then it would be extended to other veterans and other children of veterans. I offer my writing in the sincere wish that the reader's heart and mind are engaged. Natalie Goldberg explains why we write memoir: "We surrender ourselves so others can feel what we felt and be enlarged" (Goldberg, 2007, p. 147). In this way, I hope to bridge the gap from my particular story to universal stories of war, love and faith. (Abstract shortened by UMI.).